Friday, November 06, 2009

By 

James W. Stone

Every year around this time I start to get elated and concerned about my seasonal gift buying. I'm elated because I'm going out there where all the "excitement" is. Stores will be decorated, music will be playing, and bells will be ringing. Yes, "Oy!" there's a lot of Fa-la-la in the air. And, I'm concerned because it's going to cost me a bundle, and I wonder "What for?"

Do you remember last year? Now, that was an OMG moment! We thought the economy had crashed. Well, it was falling; but it didn't hit bottom until March of this year. So, last year was a time to figure out how to buy all my brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, and friends gifts with money I was going to need for unforeseen emergencies.

This year is not quite like that. Thankfully, we don't see the economy on an express elevator to the basement. This year, we have a little hope that the turnaround is beginning. Not all of us -- but those of us who haven't lost our jobs, had unpaid furlough days, or had our pay cut -- are breathing a little easier. We are cautious now as we adapt to the "New Normal."

Whether you're celebrating Christmas, Hanukkah, or Kwanza, this year will seem a little less anxiety-filled than last year. We're slowly getting used to where we have landed in this economy. But that doesn't change the expectations for gifting. So, we shall go shopping.

This year, ask yourself what the purpose of the gift is supposed to be. If you're trying to impress somebody, you should give yourself a "time out" to think about things. Who can you really impress this year? If you give a gift that is too flamboyant you run the risk of being seen as wasteful, or unaware of what has happened to our family budgets. Even the customary gifts of "Bling" won't be high on the list this year.

If you want to show affection, find a way to give the gift of time shared doing something the intended receiver will want to do.

If you want to show approval, find a gift that acknowledges something unique about the person you are approving. It doesn't have to be expensive if it’s truly unique.

If you want to encourage someone, pay for classes or necessary items they will need to pursue their dreams. It doesn’t have to be a big or expensive gift, just something that lets them know you support them. Maybe you can combine your contribution with gifts from other friends to make a bigger impact. That helps solve the gifting puzzle for someone else, too.

Probably the most difficult reason to gift is to say "thank you." What can you buy for someone that will say "thank you?" The person you want to thank might not want to get into a situation where each party is trying to do something for the other again and again. If this is the case, find a very good opportunity to simply tell them how much you appreciate what they have done, or are doing for you. Dinner out, or even brought to their home, is a great way to do this. (What, you never thought about having a thank-you date with your mother's older sister?)

When you head out shopping this year, take your reason list not your gift list. The idea here is to look at gift-giving as having a purpose, rather than being an obligation. That way, when you spend money on the gift you have a better understanding of why you spent the money. It is also easier to "see" gift ideas when you are shopping for a purpose rather than just to find a gift for a name on your list. In fact, you might see gift ideas that won't cost you a dime but still communicate your intention. The gift of time well-spent to ease your friend's burden may be just the answer to their needs.

Gifting with purpose requires that you think about the person you are going to give the gift to. That should make the whole experience more pleasurable.

This season, give with a reason.

James W. Stone
Copyright 2009, James W. Stone, all rights reserved worldwide